


A New Arrangement

by flawedamythyst



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock aren't meant to have any contact until they're married, but how is Sherlock meant to plot a wedding without John's input?</p><p>Arranged Marriage AU.</p><p> </p><p>Prompted by Trillsabells, betaed by Emmyangua. Thanks, guys!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trillsabells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trillsabells/gifts).



**From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** ?

http://www.weddzilla.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/napkin-folds.jpg

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Sorry, who is this?

John

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Just how many men do you know who might want your opinion on wedding ephemera?

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Sherlock?

I thought we weren't meant to communicate before the wedding? Harry – that's my sister – was very clear on that.

John

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

I merely wanted to make sure that you had some input in the wedding ceremony, given how little we have had in the marriage itself. You were the one who responded with words.

Buttonholes: do you prefer forget-me-nots or stephanotis? I suspect the roses are too much a cliché to be discarded, but would you prefer deep red ones surrounded by stephanotis or white ones surrounded by forget-me-nots?

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

I had to google stephanotis. Got to be honest, I don't care either way. Pick whichever you like.

This wedding isn't your choice either, then? My mum just cornered me and said that if I wasn't making our family's name in the Army anymore, I would have to find another way. Then she handed me an invite to my own wedding.

We really shouldn't be talking, you know. I asked Harry what she knew about you today and she gave me a long speech about the joy of learning about your spouse after you'd wedded them. Not that she did that, of course, she got to marry for love.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

You are being most unhelpful. The least you could do is show some interest in the planning as I have bothered to involve you.

I prefer the red. With some imagination, I shall be able to pretend that it's blood seeping from a bullet wound. If someone is murdered, that will make the whole tedious affair so much more interesting. Besides, having stephanotis will cement the information you have learnt from Google in your mind and make you marginally less ignorant.

My brother has tied himself to the government so he will never have to marry. Which is all very well for him, but it made my mother very set on going over-the-top with my wedding, as it will be the only one she gets to arrange. I avoided it as long as possible, using some rather underhand tactics, but even the mighty must fall before the stubbornness of a mother who wants to see her son 'settled'.

Please see the attached images of table centrepieces and choose one you like. I have given you several choices, all of which will go with the buttonholes. Do try and raise yourself out of apathy long enough to have at least one thought on them, painful as it may be.

SH

 **Attached** : _CP01.jpg_ , _CP02.jpg_ , _CP03.jpg_ , _CP04.jpg_ , _CP05.jpg_

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Wow, you're kind of a dick, did you know that? Plus, I'm not sure that level of interest in a possible murder is healthy, even if I do understand the sentiment.

Looked at the attachments. I like the third one, but I wouldn't mind the first either. Definitely not the fifth, that's hideous.

Is that enough opinion, or do I need to write a detailed essay on my reactions to them? 

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

That will do. I agree with you on the fifth one, I was merely making sure that you were actually paying attention. We'll go with the third.

I need a list of your favourite musical numbers, along with a brief summary of your musical taste. It doesn't need to be an essay, but be aware that the more detail you provide, the more you will enjoy the dancing part of the evening.

We will be dancing a waltz together. Please ensure you get some practice in advance so that I am not completely humiliated.

In answer to your question, I am aware that I'm 'kind of a dick'. I've been informed multiple times, often in far more colourful terms. There's no need to worry about the impact that will have on our marriage as I am also rather self-absorbed and liable not to talk for days, so you'll be able to avoid it. 

A murder at any event would vastly improve it, because then I'd get to solve it. I am a detective, you know.

I suppose fiancés should know the worst about each other. I also play the violin when I'm thinking.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Been trying to work out what the worst of me might be. At the moment, it's probably the effects of the war. Did you get told that I was shot? I've been recovering so I'm slightly housebound, and I have a bit of a temper sometimes. I used to have other faults, but I'm not sure they'll be relevant any more.

Attached is my thesis on the musical tastes of John H. Watson. Enjoy.

You seem to know a lot more about this wedding than I do. Do you know how many people are coming? Have you seen a guest list?

 **Attached** : _Music.doc_

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

'A bit of a temper sometimes'. That seems rather cagey. You may rest assured that I will not be affected by any anger you display, particularly if it is misplaced frustration caused by being shot, the end of your Army career and having to go through this ridiculousness. I'm looking forward to seeing your scar.

Your musical taste is terrible. We won't be incorporating any of those songs. Thank you for taking the time to write them down so that I could print it out, burn it, and revel in the destruction of so much bland, anaemic trash in one go.

I have seen the guest list. It is rather large and mostly populated by high society women, who will be there to observe the joining of our families and give their opinions on whether or not we are a credit to our mothers. I dare say I shall disappoint them, I usually do. I hope you weren't expecting the kind of friendly event that your sister would have had when she got to marry for love. You know how arranged weddings are. It's not about us, it's about our mothers' success in settling their boys and raising the family profiles at the same time. Dull.

My mother and I are in the midst of a debate over our suits. Please drop a comment to your mother about your preference for ties over bowties, and cream waistcoats over any other colour. We should aim for classic elegance without stupid fripperies.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Hint dropped. My mother was so excited that I was showing an interest in the wedding that I'm pretty certain she called your mother immediately. She also spent nearly two hours talking to me about...I don't even know. Chair covers came up, which...why the hell do we need to cover the chairs?

You seem to know an awful lot more about me than I do about you. I just got told you were a detective of some sort and then a gush about the high profile of your family that mainly seemed to focus on your great grandmother.

For the record, 'I want to see your scar' is a rubbish chat-up line.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

It wasn't a chat-up line. Why would I bother with a chat-up line when we're going to be married in less than two months? Rather a waste of effort.

Chair covers are a necessity if you wish to ensure the cohesiveness of your colour theme. We will have white ones with red sashes. That was decided last week.

I was only told that you had been invalided out of the Army. The rest of what I know about you I have deduced from your emails. 

Like my brother, you attempted to escape the inevitability of an arranged marriage by taking one of the few career paths available to a man, but you took the more exciting and dangerous route of the Army rather than the Civil Service. You liked it rather more than you felt you should have, given the violent mature of such a career. You particularly liked the male camaraderie aspect of it and miss it now that you are home under your mother's authority. Your injury was severe but has been more emotionally debilitating than physically. Combined with returning to your childhood home and this female-dominated society, you feel weak and useless.

Your sister was close to you as a child but grew distant as she pursued her own, wider choice of a future. Your jealousy that she got to choose a lovematch when you knew any spouse for you would be chosen by your mother, whose judgement you do not trust, did not help matters.

Communicating with me has combated this by giving you an outlet to talk to another man, as well as a way to kick against your mother without causing a row. Your mother and sister are both strong-minded women, so I imagine you are rather sick of family rows.

How did I do?

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

Spot on. That was amazing.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

That's not what people usually say. There are usually more swear words.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Sent:** 09:17:24 31/05/14  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

It was incredible. All that, just from some discussion about a wedding? All I know about you is that you seem vastly more interested in weddings than I am.

You don’t seem to mind blunt honesty, so you should know that I really hate this. All this. I hate that my mother gets to pick a stranger for me to spend my life with just because I'm a man and therefore only there to add honour to the family, without anyone caring what I want. My sister gets to marry someone she loves and then divorce her within five years, and all she gets is indulgence because 'girls will be girls'. 

I was barely home a fortnight, only just able to walk to the sodding bathroom and back, when my mother told me I was going to have to get married.

I don't understand why being forced to marry someone just to link your families is as important to the people who are meant to love you unconditionally as having an actual career is. Well, an actual career that falls within strict guidelines of course, god forbid I should have wanted to be a doctor. 

Which I did.

I was so jealous when I heard you were a detective. That's outside the usual realms of 'men's work'. It must be interesting. Did they let you join the police?

Sorry, had a bit to drink, should probably stop laying this all on you. Not your fault, you're caught in the same trap. You seem like someone I could get along with, so maybe it won't be so bad. Just got to get through this bloody wedding first.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

I am indeed caught in the same trap. I empathise entirely, John. Not something I say very often, believe me.

I'm not a police officer, I'm a consulting detective. I did look into joining the force when I was younger, but they didn't want me. Now that I've had time to settle into it, I would say that being freelance suits me much better anyway. It's not been easy, though. I'm a genius, but it took me a long time to find anyone official who was clever enough to pay attention to my deductions. My mother is rather disapproving and only really allows it because she disliked the alternative more. I don't do well when I'm bored. Knowing that it would have all been so much simpler if I were a woman is extremely frustrating.

I'm sorry to have to prove your one deduction about me wrong, but I don't actually care about the wedding. I first contacted you as a way to gauge what sort of man I was being tied to, and then allowed myself to become obsessed with the details to distract myself from the larger truth of how little I want any part of some elaborate ceremony that is designed to show us off without ever actually being about us.

I have enjoyed this correspondence, however. My mother could have found someone far worse.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: ?

It's a shame we can't just skip the wedding bit and be married anyway, then. Or maybe just partners. I could help you fight crime. I do have a bit of experience with violence, you know. Plus they let me at least be a medic, so I have some medical knowledge. I could do a bit of reading on pathology and other subjects that might be useful for solving crimes.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** !

John, you're brilliant. You don't seem to be the most luminous of people but as a conductor of light, you're unbeatable. Some people who aren't geniuses have an amazing ability to stimulate it in others.

Meet me at Euston Station tomorrow at 9, sharp. We'll elope. Gretna Green is only four hours by train and once we get back, there's no way we'll be made to go through this pantomime. Neither of our mothers will truly be able to complain as we did marry each other, but society won't want anything to do with a pair of elopers. We'll be able to just get on with solving crimes. 

The flat I'm considering getting when we're married has the option of an extra bedroom, if you'd prefer we had two. Or I could turn it into a lab. I do rather a lot of experiments at home, as the women at St Barts aren't really keen on a man using their labs. Idiots. 

We'll both be out from under our mothers' roofs and able to properly live our lives, without either of them wanting to parade us at social gatherings. It will be excellent.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: !

You're absolutely bloody barmy. That is a ridiculous plan, for a whole load of reasons.

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: !

None of them are good reasons.

SH

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: !

No, I suppose not.

Bollocks, I'll do it. 9AM, yeah?

Uh, what do you look like?

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: !

Excellent!

I'll meet you in the ticket office. See attached photo.

SH

 **Attached** : _SherlockHolmes.jpg_

 

 **From:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **To:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Re: !

Re: Photo – Blimey! 

See you in the morning, then.

I think this is the most excited I've been about something since I was shot. Who knew defying your mother was so much fun?

 

 **From:** SH@ScienceofDeduction.co.uk  
 **To:** JWatson71@yahoo.com  
 **Subject:** Re: !

I did.

Don't be late.

SH


End file.
